Saturday, August 30, 2008

Foxy cave girl with a bone for Me!

This fantastic card from KRYSTAN! came up in the forums sometime ago. I wanted to receive this tasty little nugget more than any card I've come across. Now being a proactive person willing to step into a burning pile of turds to save a chunk a doo with an interesting shape, I decided to take matters into my own hands and get this card sent to me post haste. I was left with a burning question that has come to us all at one time or another, "if buying a card for myself who would I like to send it". It didn't take long before our brother at arms, Rev Ross came skeazing though like a giant electric eel at a water babies class and I had my girl bone-y. Thanks Rev and Krystan for the best self orchestrated card receiving that I've had yet.
Have Fun!
Hairy McSpecies      

Monday, August 25, 2008

HOT Pounding ARTIST ON ARTIST action. Mixed Species vs. levityinbrevity


We have the good fortune of reviewing this SLC based artists shop and quickly realized her shop had us thinking of one thing … Baby Making! Speaking of baby making is it just us or is “trip-hop” very good baby making music। There’s nothing like a little Portishead, Tricky or Morcheeba to increase the size of the Cult of Mixed Species. Well trip-hop and Rob Zombie and DeathKlok. Now hold on – before you get all up on your high horse let us explain. In the following “review” we will take you from “pre” to “during” to “post” baby making all based upon products found in levityinbrevity’s shop! So, join us!

First of all what they say about “the quickest way to a man’s heart” is true. It’s nudity. Well nudity and food. Usually at the same time. The Chef Chicken Country Cooking Apron is a beautiful little garment that leads us to wonder has anyone ever made Chicken Fried Bacon? Serious ... how good would that be? When we perfect the recipe for Chicken Fried Bacon we'll be coming back for one of her Oil Cloth Vinyl Bibs, Adult Sized!

We also scooped up the magic cookie recipe from her shop। We are guessing if we are rolling SLC style hopped up on these cooking AND wearing our lucky underwear chances are we could be lucky enough to wake up foggy married to ten people including our own sister and someone else’s! This reminds us of one of our favorite questions from a Facebook fan. (before we were kicked off) “Is polygamy legal in Corvallis?” This comment still brings tears of pride to our eyes.

Hairy McSpecies remarked after checking out the Pink Leopard Tote that he’d like to find one of levityinbrevity’s beautiful bags over his head before a passionate session। In fact he’d look so good there would be no need for the dimmer switch! We can only assume Hairy is referring to a passionate solo session.

Look at this little brown corduroy dress। Seriously it’s so cute we are considering making babies just so we can have a little Mixed Species girl to put into it. This is much closer to the truth than most might think. The Mixed Species guys are so virile that we’ve actually got a few people pregnant through etsy forum posting! OK, one of them might have been a dude but we were hopped up on Lucky Lager and levityinbrevity’s cookies. We are saving our money for a couple of levityinbrevity special requests. We will need a couple of training dresses for Hairy and Poppa McSpecies to wear as they prepare to qualify for the upcoming 2012 Olympics three-legged race in London! We will also need a matching dress for Oliver McSpecies to finally match his father. (pending DNA test results)

Our only suggestion is to address the lack of boy's clothes in her shop. Although a pairing of one of her dresses with a high waisted pair of cords for boys would be nothing short of stunning at the next tear fest / clown themed birthday party or maybe that's just our kids' birthday parties? We did however find a great recipe for spiking kids' lemonade with liquor and antidepressants in a Rachel Ray cook book, seems to ease party tension for all involved. By the way, you better make an extra batch for the clown. But we digress ...

So you see? We’ve taken you all through the process of comparing baby making to a shop that makes clothes for girls without feeling the wrath of Corporate McSpecies.

Levityinbrevity can also be found at her blog, myspace and flickr

As always ... HAVE FUN!!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Two great things I found this week

While driving around I found a sign so amazingly perfect that it almost made me cause an accident. I'm sorry to say that by way of the concrete "Turdles" below and the geographical location we're left to assume it was not intentional. Another out of this world radicool video was brought to my attention by Mike Fairchild aka Mike Fairchild. Listed as the "best fight scene ever" I think it even surpasses the coolness of Rambu and maybe even the king crap The Stabilizer.
Have Fun!
Hairy McSpecies

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The truth about Hairy and Olivia Munn

Okay folks I've been at the Beijing Olympics for the last two weeks so I've not updated the blog or what not by way of limited access. I was surprised to find that all Mixed Species sites are blocked in China, don't know when we crossed over to being a subversive group but we are no less happy to considered as such. While I was there I happened into Olivia Munn, it was kinda awkward to start as we had a torrid affair that lasted near 216 minutes after I was on Attack Of The Show last year (pic above, I'm holding Burla my favorite chicken). We decided to go for dinner after which things heated up real fast. We are both in the public eye a lot so you would think we would know better than falling prey to overwhelming passion while not confined to the privacy of a suite but that was not the case. I awoke to rug burns from my waste to my chin stretched out in the middle of my suite with mayo and sriracha speckled from the floor to the ceiling. Olivia's assistant had long since taken her to an emergency therapy session trying to get her mind straight again before they returned to the states. I glanced an envelope half under my door, inside I found a photo (above) of Olivia having what was left of my tongue for dessert along with the fine pic was a request for money to keep it out of the press. While Olivia may have her own opinion of the gig I could care less and thought it best to put it out myself.
Enjoy and have fun,
Hairy McSpecies

Friday, August 8, 2008

Hot Pounding Artist On Artist Action!! Reviews Least Likely 2 Breed

Least Likely 2 Breed brings to us a scrumptiously sweet triple layer cake of an Etsy storegasm. Starting with a super cool shop name then treating us to product titles and descriptions that bring rosey cheeks to even Poppa McSpecies. If LL2B was voted Least Likely 2 Breed we would have to contest it as either we've already bred with her or it's time to ask the age old question "got any Mixed Species in ya......".

We predict that Roid Rage The Classiest Flashiest Hemorrhoid Remedy on the Planet will eventually end up being the blue collar workers Blarney Stone. When this vision comes to pass please let any ill informed folk know that it's easier to kiss what's in the can than what's been applied. Corporate McSpecies's roid garden actually sang For He's a Jolly Good Fellow after his first usage. Though the sound was muffled by a fine leather seat but he felt it added a sense of urgency to the piece. 

Another back door surprise crowning from Least Likely 2 Breed's glistening soft pelt is the Bad Ass Booty balm (diaper ointment). Of which was not only featured in the May 2008 issue of PREGNANCY magazine but we have it on good authority was also given in gift baskets at the last Jerry Springer family show "Adult Babies and the trans that love them". This balm doubles as an ass shoe horn when Poppa McSpecies dawns his youth sized silver stretch pants, Leslie eat your heart out. 

Now don't let this lead you to think Least Likely 2 Breed is an all fudge shop, not at all she accommodates where lemonade is made also! Mother Effers Va-J-J Jelly is no pussys lube or um well, weenies or suckers uh scratch that or uh rub, no......Hmmmmmm. See this is kinda hard ooh um difficult for us, I mean she already beat us to "Too dry for a bone?" and "Better than spit" in her Mother Effers product description. I guess suffice it to say we would pick Mother Effers Va-J-J Jelly to smoothe up in ya for any pork session, long or long cause it's just a damn fine can of lube. Not to mention how cool is it to roll home to your mate with a CAN of lube rather than those plastic squirter things.         

Moving up the body (less if you wear tie die and pacthouli) we come to Tough Titties Nipple Rub a fine balm if ever there was one. As dudes with kids we have heard intimately the pain nursing moms deal with not to mention no one likes coming away from a loving nibble with a chunk in their mouth. Did you hear that Miss Jay? Whether you're taking em or giving em chunks = bad! Notice the photos (above) of Hairy's enlarged nipple that was taken following the Miss Jay passion attack and the photo taken after treatment with Tough Titties Nipple Rub. 

Hands down as in we are on our hands and knees with supple lips up and roids out giving Least Likely 2 Breed five out of five guaranteed once inflamed now soothed stars.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Hairy McSpecies launches myspace page

Hairy will update his myspace page with photos often and soon create a blog to dish the dirt on the elite glitterati and Hollywood rabble rowsers he rolls with around this big world of ours. Just back from Jamaica's coast with Victoria's Secret (see above pic) he's now off to Iceland hosting a fundraiser for Rendering For Humanity (a nonprofit that turns unwanted mammals to glue for crafters of third world nations). Hairy will also use this page to convey his ardent belief in having fun. Fun and friendship supercedes all!

Keep your eyes peeled for a Hairy McSpecies appearance as a guest judge on America's Next Top Model! We snuck out the above photo from the filming last week, Hairy said about the show "dudes, that scene is total backwoods". Hairy later explained that Twiggy spent the entire shoot attempting to "tapper" (flicking a fellows balls when he's not looking) Nigel Barker while Miss Jay made Hairy puke in his mouth a little on four separate occasions. We have to give kudos to Miss Jay for what ever extremely crass act she came up with as to make any of the MS boys heave is no small feat.
All we have is now, have fun!
quote from Hairy McSpecies circa 1912