Friday, June 20, 2008
OK, here's a new Mixed Species curve ball to throw at you. We have been approached a few times about selling advertising on our blog and thought a fun way to "promote" rather than advertise would be to create positive, purchaseable reviews written Mixed Species style. We’ve decided to offer our craft/art in the form of prose via positive product reviews. If necessary, we can even put a shine on a turd! 6 out of 5 demolition experts agree that reading MIXED SPECIES HOT Artist on Artist Action reviews have changed their lives. For the record, Anderson Soap Company did not purchase this review. We've always been a big fan of Dennis Anderson and his shop and after he recently wore one of our tees in an online Storque article we thought we'd say "thanks"! If interested in purchasing one of our always positive and equally disturbing "reviews", you can contact us at email@example.com!
First off, in this particular review we have chosen to judge the products we purchased from Dennis Anderson at Anderson Soap Companies based upon four criteria. 1 – Sensation. 2 – Taste (both kinds). 3 – Smell. 4 – Cleaning Power!
Sensation - Anderson Soap Companies products feel so good that we could only ask that their bar soap come with a hole in it …. And maybe some handles.
Taste - We feel the Poor Boy Beer Soap is the perfect product for washing out our children’s mouths! In fact, we can imagine children everywhere working up their best cuss words and lies JUST to get a good taste of many of the Anderson Soap Company’s products. On a different kind of “taste” tangent let us take a moment to talk vegan. Now technically the Mixed Species guys are omnivores but there has got to be some karma points in using Anderson Soap Company’s vegan friendly products. Worst case scenario we break even, as we us their vegan friendly soaps while we eat half a brick of Velveeta cheese during a relaxing shower session. There’s nothing to ease a day’s tension like good soap and a block of pasteurized cheese product.
Smell - The scent possibilities are endless. Be it Peppermint, Blackberry Sage, Hawaiian Lei or Beer the ways to cover up our man musk are too many to count! We are especially excited about a night out on the town, shirts unbuttoned, showing off some man-moss with the faint smell of Anderson Soap Company’s Guinness Beer Soap wafting around us!
Cleaning Power - We will be putting the cleaning power of Anderson Soap Company to be put to the test. After the chemical shower, industrial eye wash and then a shower using the Blackberry Sage soap we expect the burning sensation left from being touched by Hairy McSpecies to be reduced to a pleasant heat!
In conclusion Mixed Species gives Anderson Soap Company five out of five bite marks on a bar of their Tango with Mango soap bar!
*oh – one last idea. Maybe a diagram could be included on the proper way to remove a wayward pube from a bar of soap without wasting any of this soapy goodness under a fingernail.*
-the Mixed Species guys-