Monday, August 4, 2014

To Spoon or to Spork, that is the question! 

The ever wondrous Mixed Species guys review Neva Starr's shop Twisted Metals.

We want to kick off this Artist on Artist review with a warning: Although you will be equally entertained and amazed at our deft review of this amazing shop, there will be the usual tangents into the darker, stankier realms of junkies, goat cheese, cave aged dude cheese, and the female logging movement. Also remember to click the linked text as that's half the fun. You have hereby been warned.
After “living in” Twisted Metal’s shop for a few days, it is hard to figure out where to start. First off we went off track with a deep trip in to the psychological 90’s spoon bending! We would highly recommend you grab a pair of combat boots, cut off shorts over long johns and do the same. Even after not witnessing it with our own eyes and completely imaging in our own feeble brains, it still amazes us that Neva uses no tools, bending, shaping and coloring her flatware chimes with the power of her mind. Tho there may be a case for these not being hand made one would have to assume that mind made is some serious next level shit in the DIY movement. 

For those interested, yet another amazing gift from the inter webs, a youtube telekinkinesis tutorial video if anyone would like to move their production to the hands-free realm. A word to the wise, we tried the telekinkinesis thing and ended up projecting this gif out of our eyeballs for approximately 3.6749 hours. Making out burgers is a serious weakness with us, along with mayo and knitter gals, thus we would not expect you to project the same image, but one from the deep recesses of your gross out mind. You're reading our blog so we know you've got a gross out mind, you stinking little stinker. 

We got the projection eyeballs to cease with a little maxing and relaxing Mixed Species guy style!  

Now that we had put ourselves in a relaxed state, the sweet sound of delish spoon chimes was  floating around our heavenly, hairy and well-inebriated man bodices. It was the siren calls of the One fish two fish look at this blue fish chime beckoning us to crash our skateboards on shores azurite and golden beauty. As dudes with a keen eye for the balance of beauty and form, we are well enamored with the color and luster in many of the fine chimes in the Twisted Metals shop. Check out of few of our faves and we're sure you'll agree, piss on tieing yourself to the mast or filling your ears with bees wax or any such nonsense. We say, go, go to the siren calls of Neva Starr and Twisted Metals, steer your ships wheel, skateboard, hummer or mobility scooter right to their beautiful, angular and METAL shores!

Here's the One fish two fish piece, though we like to refer to it as Yes, we deserve to have soap in mouths but we'd like to spoon too mama!

These little gems are yet another example of Neva's great use of heat inspired color. We humbly refer to these bad mamajama's as the Lick My Front, Lick My Back, I'd Play Sportball with these on my Sack.

Next stop, was the Family of three fishing wind chimes. 

We couldn’t help but imagine ourselves as the three fishermen. Face McSpecies would be regaling everyone with his tales of growing up in Eastern Oregon fishing in high mountain streams where you have to sneak up on the easily spooked wild Brook Trout. At the same time Hairy McSpecies would be debating about which combination of his bodily fluids would work best as chum.  Poppa McSpecies would be staring at the distant shoreline imagining his perfect set up of a yurt, grove of olive trees and goats to begin his dream farm/home. Let's not forget our dear Corporate McSpecies planning on how to chain this lovely family to a printing press for twenty hours a day.  Whoa. We definitely drifted a bit on that one. 

Oh, and back to the shop.  Let’s start off looking by at the Original Spoon Fish Wind Chime
We can see these swinging in a light ocean breeze from Monterey to Miami, even through flowing Poppa's mane and tail. Not to mention everywhere in betweenThe sounds of these beautifully crafted spoons gently swaying in the breeze will not only put all restless souls in a gentle state of mind but will also drive all nearby junkies crazy at the thought of this many spoons ruined with holes cut in them.

Twisted Metals also does a great job fleshing out family imagery in their chimes. Whether your relationship status is standard, bi, tri, quad, penta, polenta, beastial, furry or bronie, you can find a chime that will represent your happy place.

Maybe you'd roll with the Happy Family Fishing

Or maybe you'll be more comfortable getting down with your rural self with the What Goes on in the Woods, Stays in the Woods.

There’s not enough time and space to share everything we enjoyed in this shop. One of the last items we want to share are Neva Starr’s Wooden Buttons.  These are awesome! For all of you single dudes out there we would highly recommend trading out the top button in your favorite skinny jeans for one of these wooden buttons. On your next trip to your local hipster bar, natural food co-op or Local Lady Loggers meet up you are guaranteed a good evening. Two words for the rest of you art school drop-outs … Focal Center

This shop easily earns our guaranteed five out of five stars!

If you have an item, a shop, a friend, a moldy sammich, something, anything, seriously name it and pay us, we guarantee to give it five thumbs up and write a bunch of random funny, gross stuff about it. Go here for your own Purchasable Positive Review!