The truth about Hairy and Olivia Munn

Okay folks I've been at the Beijing Olympics for the last two weeks so I've not updated the blog or what not by way of limited access. I was surprised to find that all Mixed Species sites are blocked in China, don't know when we crossed over to being a subversive group but we are no less happy to considered as such. While I was there I happened into Olivia Munn, it was kinda awkward to start as we had a torrid affair that lasted near 216 minutes after I was on Attack Of The Show last year (pic above, I'm holding Burla my favorite chicken). We decided to go for dinner after which things heated up real fast. We are both in the public eye a lot so you would think we would know better than falling prey to overwhelming passion while not confined to the privacy of a suite but that was not the case. I awoke to rug burns from my waste to my chin stretched out in the middle of my suite with mayo and sriracha speckled from the floor to the ceiling. Olivia's assistant had long since taken her to an emergency therapy session trying to get her mind straight again before they returned to the states. I glanced an envelope half under my door, inside I found a photo (above) of Olivia having what was left of my tongue for dessert along with the fine pic was a request for money to keep it out of the press. While Olivia may have her own opinion of the gig I could care less and thought it best to put it out myself.

Enjoy and have fun,

Hairy McSpecies

Hot Pounding Artist On Artist Action!! Reviews Least Likely 2 Breed

Least Likely 2 Breed brings to us a scrumptiously sweet triple layer cake of an Etsy storegasm. Starting with a super cool shop name then treating us to product titles and descriptions that bring rosey cheeks to even Poppa McSpecies. If LL2B was voted Least Likely 2 Breed we would have to contest it as either we've already bred with her or it's time to ask the age old question "got any Mixed Species in ya......".

We predict that Roid Rage The Classiest Flashiest Hemorrhoid Remedy on the Planet will eventually end up being the blue collar workers Blarney Stone. When this vision comes to pass please let any ill informed folk know that it's easier to kiss what's in the can than what's been applied. Corporate McSpecies's roid garden actually sang For He's a Jolly Good Fellow after his first usage. Though the sound was muffled by a fine leather seat but he felt it added a sense of urgency to the piece. 

Another back door surprise crowning from Least Likely 2 Breed's glistening soft pelt is the Bad Ass Booty balm (diaper ointment). Of which was not only featured in the May 2008 issue of PREGNANCY magazine but we have it on good authority was also given in gift baskets at the last Jerry Springer family show "Adult Babies and the trans that love them". This balm doubles as an ass shoe horn when Poppa McSpecies dawns his youth sized silver stretch pants, Leslie eat your heart out. 

Now don't let this lead you to think Least Likely 2 Breed is an all fudge shop, not at all she accommodates where lemonade is made also! Mother Effers Va-J-J Jelly is no pussys lube or um well, weenies or suckers uh scratch that or uh rub, no......Hmmmmmm. See this is kinda hard ooh um difficult for us, I mean she already beat us to "Too dry for a bone?" and "Better than spit" in her Mother Effers product description. I guess suffice it to say we would pick Mother Effers Va-J-J Jelly to smoothe up in ya for any pork session, long or long cause it's just a damn fine can of lube. Not to mention how cool is it to roll home to your mate with a CAN of lube rather than those plastic squirter things.         

Moving up the body (less if you wear tie die and pacthouli) we come to Tough Titties Nipple Rub a fine balm if ever there was one. As dudes with kids we have heard intimately the pain nursing moms deal with not to mention no one likes coming away from a loving nibble with a chunk in their mouth. Did you hear that Miss Jay? Whether you're taking em or giving em chunks = bad! Notice the photos (above) of Hairy's enlarged nipple that was taken following the Miss Jay passion attack and the photo taken after treatment with Tough Titties Nipple Rub. 

Hands down as in we are on our hands and knees with supple lips up and roids out giving Least Likely 2 Breed five out of five guaranteed once inflamed now soothed stars.

Hairy McSpecies launches myspace page

Hairy will update his myspace page with photos often and soon create a blog to dish the dirt on the elite glitterati and Hollywood rabble rowsers he rolls with around this big world of ours. Just back from Jamaica's coast with Victoria's Secret (see above pic) he's now off to Iceland hosting a fundraiser for Rendering For Humanity (a nonprofit that turns unwanted mammals to glue for crafters of third world nations). Hairy will also use this page to convey his ardent belief in having fun. Fun and friendship supercedes all!

Keep your eyes peeled for a Hairy McSpecies appearance as a guest judge on America's Next Top Model! We snuck out the above photo from the filming last week, Hairy said about the show "dudes, that scene is total backwoods". Hairy later explained that Twiggy spent the entire shoot attempting to "tapper" (flicking a fellows balls when he's not looking) Nigel Barker while Miss Jay made Hairy puke in his mouth a little on four separate occasions. We have to give kudos to Miss Jay for what ever extremely crass act she came up with as to make any of the MS boys heave is no small feat.

All we have is now, have fun!

quote from Hairy McSpecies circa 1912