Donner Party ends Dependence on Foreign Oil

Party mixes “Hyper-Localization” and Sustainability

Sacramento, California July 26, 2012 — Riding waves of attention, adulation and confusion Hairy and Face McSpecies have begun laying out the Donner Party plan to end the United States’ reliance on Foreign Oil. “The answer has been there in front of us this whole time!” announced Face McSpecies during a ribbon cutting ceremony for the most recent Hometown Buffet opening. “By focusing on growing our own food and eating farmed products closer to where we live, we drastically cut back on the millions of dollars used to grow, treat, package and ship us our daily meals.” 

“The Donner Party is proud to launch our EAT LOCALS progam and plan to start rolling it out at local schools and retirement homes in the next few weeks.” Hairy McSpecies shared with reporters during a brief break in the Donner Party national tour. 

When further pressed by reporters on how they planned on selecting the lucky “locals” who would become sustenance, both men hinted that this information would be shared at a later date.