Monday, August 5, 2013

Hot pounding shartist on artist action kicks off with........ ISEWCUTE, me love you long long glittery long long time.

In bed one fine morning a few weeks back, June of ISEWCUTE turned to me and said "Hairy, dude, two things: first, stop, we're not all morning people! Second, do one of those Purchasable Positive Reviews for my shop. As in now and not ten years from now."A bit bewildered at the directness of this fine jewel of a bejeweled resin jewelry crafter lying between us had a solid point. The MS guys rate of production over the last years has been just slightly less than balls plus three. I lifted my head to make eye contact with Face. His deep handsome eyes confirmed both of her points and his mouth was even more direct.

Weaving together resin, mystical creatures and glitter like a spastic wizard drunk on Korova milk straight from the largest breast the Catullan king has to offer, ISEWCUTE literally brings the stars to us.
The Cosmic Galaxy Jewelry, collection is vast, spectacularly photoed and well, really really fargin awesome. From the Glitter Hubble Stardust to the dreamy Galaxy Star Cute's work is deep, clear and polished to the point that it would be as close to a suicide attempt as a mirror in Medusa's house. Once in a blue moon are we granted such a gift as to spew our special variety of candor all over the face of an artist such as this and those of her adoring public. Shit, we really should have put this link in that last sentence's ham-fisted product segue. Nevertheless if you're reading this or anything else on our blog you prolly know the type of asinine shemanigans and totally bullshittery one should expect to consume here and have either taken appropriate precautions or have built up some bit of an immunity.    

ISEWCUTE's skill with resin is parallel to none through time and space! One need look no further than this Tardis piece, of which was commissioned by none other than the Doctor himself when they met on Gallifrey whilst June was giving a lecture on resin casting. ISEWCUTE doesn't smell armpits or choose up sides, her stunning vivid colors and unfettered fashion sense bring out the good time nature in even the darkest most aggressive souls.

Once the king of the Daleks, Davors found himself after adorning the crazy baby ring from Cute. Now living happily in burbs with his partner of five years, Davors has turned into Sugar, a sweet homemaker, fellow crafter, and mother of exactly 6.75 semi humans.

And let's not forget the Undertaker's first Esty seller inspired move the Giant Resin Candy Corn Up My Butt Slam (aka the GRCCUMBS). The Undertaker attributed his WWE belt holding champion status to not only the Giant Resin Candy Corn Up My Butt Slam, GRCCUMBS, but to ISEWCUTE's inspiration.

But wait there's more! Embroidery patterns for the hand embroiderer are a fab way to "accidentally" tattoo yourself while watching TV, hurt your annoying child or poke out your husbands eye, a point not lost on Cute in the slightest.
The lumber jack plaid woodsman was our hands down fave. We've not been before seen such a keen depiction of the woodsman, showing his superiority to the trees as he drops his trousers, pulls out his dangler, pisses a pool, then jumps over his piss pool holding a chunk of one of the trees' fallen brother and smiles. It's like he's saying "I piss on you and I kill you, WTF you gonna do about it, yeah that's right sit there and make oxygen, just what I thought.....Pussy!".

We once spent the part of an evening romancing Cute with our special form of native dance, quality food and drink  and of course sexy imagery in hopes of pulling the secrets of quality resin casting from her soft, luscious hands. All we were able to extract was that just before sleep Cute actually eats random bits of plastic, glitter and assorted images. Through the night some combination of stream conscience and human toy factory occurs in Cute's body while she sleeps. When the sun starts to rise Cute moves to her laying bed and extrudes perfectly polished resin castings already set in their rings or placed carefully on their chains. I know, we were as flabbergasted as anyone would be but before we had a chance to voice our plethora of questions, Cute, pointed to her butt saying "Muscles, bitches! Booty formed, booty polished, booty mounted!" With that she lifter her shirt and yelled "Spring break bitches!" and that was the last we saw of Cute. 

We the Mixed Species guys give ISEWCUTE 17.6 guaranteed thumbs up to the heavens. Go spend money at her store this very moment.

You can also find ISEWCUTE at the following fine spaces


No comments: