Sunday, February 1, 2009

A feeble attempt to clear the air prior to the trashings of grocery store print rags



So I helped my dear old friend Jessica Simpson rock a couple of duets on her recent state fair mini tour. I didn't think it would raise such a stink but I guess there's just not enough failed plastic surgery or expensive divorces to keep the pages full these days. I'm not porking her with any commitment, she nor I are pregnant and yes I did and do support the high waist jeans with double leopard belt. Her shirt is where I join in the fashion dissent, it should have had cascading waterfalls of glittery tassels and if I had my druthers it would have been pink to match the uggs I picked up for her. Of course she didn't sport em as they were a bit on the tight side. 

This jazz is hitting the stands and now there is blood in the water, already and I can see the shark fins jutting up like rockets over Gaza. With next weeks release of the Hairy N Geri (Halliwell aka Ginger Spice) duet this should be a feeding frenzy. Just let me set the record straight I'm not cashing in my social capital on Hollywoods sweepings, I'm just rolling around with friends having a good time. Lets also just say at the out set no one has a deathly illness, is getting married or divorced, yes there is lots of sex and lots and lots of drugs and none of us are going to rehab or writing books about god or the straight life EVER. EVER!

That said keep posted for the Hairy N Geri stuff that's to be out in the next week give or take. Tell all the tabloids that unless they give us what we want we're not buying their sloppy rags. Think I can speak for all when I say, we want some dirty pics of a Joan Biaz, Roy Orbison, Paula Abdul and Jonas Brothers orgy. Yes I mean Roy now, don't knock till you try it the meat is falling right off his bone.

Have Fun!
Hairy McSpecies 
  

2 comments:

Moxie said...

Aww, nice try but even you can only do so much. I'm in agreeance about the shirt, perhaps all this hog wash could've been avoided. Oh, and I woulda showed up for the show at our fair had I known you were touring with her.

Jennifer said...

"yes I did and do support the high waist jeans with double leopard belt. Her shirt is where I join in the fashion dissent, it should have had cascading waterfalls of glittery tassels and if I had my druthers it would have been pink to match the..."

Pure genious!