Sunday, September 7, 2008

Hairy McSpecies on new 90210!

Adding a healthy dose of sexy to the already engorged barf bag cesspool that is the CW line up, I will make a brief but timeless guest appearance on the new BH 90210. This could possibly be the easiest role I've ever taken! I'll portray "Biff Lang", a long haired, headband sporting, van driving, pot smoking drug dealer that rolls in a perpetual circle around the Peach Pit and West Beverly H.S. servicing the latest crop of rich consumer sheep and their lonely moms. Now that's not it mind you! The fine sheep or kids or what ever, have taken it upon themselves to attempt to solve Biff's problems. One of them finds Biff's picture in their mom's (Jennie Garth) West Beverly year book and by reading between all the "Have a great summer!"s, "Keep cool"s and "Stay Stoned"s is able to glean that Biff was once Brenda Walsh's (Shannon Doherty, also guesting) boyfriend and up and coming pro tennis star.  Biff had acquired a strong addiction to high waist stone washed jeans and when they went extinct from the 90210 area code, Biff's life light soon went out. Viewers can expect a climactic resolution to these issues in an epic 13.5 minute closing scene of Biff slowly unzipping a pair of acid washed jeans with a waist almost to Shannon Dohrety's neck. Yes, the unzip takes place in the back of Biff's van while parked in front of the Peach Pit.  
Don't come a knockin' !  
Hairy McSpecies


Mary said...

Biff Lang = greatness

PamperingBeki said...

Awww, you guys rock. :)

And I'm such a girl, I really am watching the new 90210. Haha!

Sticks and Stones Hemp said...

America NEEDS some of that mixed species sexiness seeping into their living rooms on a weekly basis.